Tammy Lenski • Interpersonal Conflict Resolution http://lenski.com conflict resolution, simplified Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:26:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Take what you need for conflict resolution http://lenski.com/blog/take-what-you-need-for-conflict-resolution/ http://lenski.com/blog/take-what-you-need-for-conflict-resolution/#comments Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:26:01 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10736 I created this poster as a handout for a conflict resolution workshop I'm teaching this week and thought you might enjoy it, too. Click the image below to get the downloadable PDF...feel free to share and print.
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Take what you need for conflict resolution was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/take-what-you-need-for-conflict-resolution/feed/ 0 Don’t take it personally. Really? http://lenski.com/blog/dont-take-it-personally/ http://lenski.com/blog/dont-take-it-personally/#comments Wed, 12 Jun 2013 15:12:31 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10708 don't take it personally It's so simple to advise, "Don't take it personally." And yet, too often, it's utterly useless advice to someone in conflict. There's something else they have to do first, before they can hope to stop taking it personally: They have to take it more personally.
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Don’t take it personally. Really? was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/dont-take-it-personally/feed/ 3 The reward of our work is who we become http://lenski.com/blog/the-reward-of-our-work-is-who-we-become/ http://lenski.com/blog/the-reward-of-our-work-is-who-we-become/#comments Wed, 05 Jun 2013 14:41:06 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10682 Paolo Coehlo quote "The reward of our work is not what we get, but what we become," says Brazilian author Paolo Coehlo. He may have intended those words to speak to the writer, but they also speak to other work...to my work and probably to your work. The reward of great conflict resolution and successful negotiation isn't just what we get from it ...
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The reward of our work is who we become was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/the-reward-of-our-work-is-who-we-become/feed/ 0 Shining a light on our conflict stories http://lenski.com/blog/shining-a-light-on-our-conflict-stories/ http://lenski.com/blog/shining-a-light-on-our-conflict-stories/#comments Fri, 31 May 2013 13:54:01 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10627 shining a light on our conflict stories We are natural storytellers, so it’s no surprise that we would tell stories about our conflicts, too. Story-making and story-telling about our conflict is natural and not, on its own, a problem. The problem comes with our attachment to those stories and our mistaken belief that our story is a retelling of...
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Shining a light on our conflict stories was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/shining-a-light-on-our-conflict-stories/feed/ 4 Control anger during conflict like a fly on the wall http://lenski.com/blog/control-anger-during-conflict/ http://lenski.com/blog/control-anger-during-conflict/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 13:36:19 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10566 control anger like a fly on the wll Trying to control anger by focusing on angry thoughts and hurt feelings is like fanning the flames. It's far more effective to pretent you're a fly on the wall of a situation, new research confirms. In situations that trigger anger, you probably tend to focus on your anger and hurt, trying to understand it, get the other person to see what they've done, perhaps even wallowing in it a bit, self-righteously. You allow yourself to be immersed in it. But it's a trap.
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Control anger during conflict like a fly on the wall was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/control-anger-during-conflict/feed/ 2 Your conflict resolution magic wand http://lenski.com/blog/conflict-resolution-magic-wand/ http://lenski.com/blog/conflict-resolution-magic-wand/#comments Wed, 08 May 2013 13:40:43 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10546 conflict resolution at a mobil station Knowing your conflict hooks and how to handle them is like having a conflict resolution magic wand: You have portable power to turn the little conflicts into nothing and the bigger conflicts into manageable ones. We had just moved from the Burlington, Vermont area to a small town in New Hampshire. The move had been a whirlwind, our Vermont house selling in a matter of days, far faster than we anticipated, and resulting in a new house purchased in a day, a moving van scheduled in a narrow window, and a mad rush to sift and pack a lifetime of belongings. The day after we moved...
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Your conflict resolution magic wand was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/conflict-resolution-magic-wand/feed/ 15 Conflict pain and the dog beneath the desk http://lenski.com/blog/conflict-pain-and-dog-beneath-desk/ http://lenski.com/blog/conflict-pain-and-dog-beneath-desk/#comments Tue, 30 Apr 2013 13:50:21 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10529 conflict pain A friend was sitting at her desk, her beloved lab at her feet. Suddenly, the dog yelped and looked up at her. This happened several more times, the dog's gaze becoming increasingly more accusatory. Finally, he got up and left the room. Later, she learned...
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Conflict pain and the dog beneath the desk was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/conflict-pain-and-dog-beneath-desk/feed/ 9 5 effective ways to focus on what’s important in relationship conflict http://lenski.com/blog/relationship-conflict-focus-on-whats-important/ http://lenski.com/blog/relationship-conflict-focus-on-whats-important/#comments Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:45:55 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10408 relationship conflict How do you decide how much of a relationship conflict's flotsam is worth pursuing? How do you focus on the important matters in a relationship conflict and not get sidetracked by trivial ones? Janet, a reader, contacted me about my recent post, Starting a Difficult Conversation. She asked,
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5 effective ways to focus on what’s important in relationship conflict was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/relationship-conflict-focus-on-whats-important/feed/ 1 Parental conflict linked to infant brain function http://lenski.com/blog/high-conflict-parents-may-influence-babies-brain-functioning/ http://lenski.com/blog/high-conflict-parents-may-influence-babies-brain-functioning/#comments Mon, 25 Mar 2013 20:48:00 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10397 conflict research and idea stream Being exposed to arguments between parents is associated with the way babies' brains process emotional tone of voice, according to a new study to be published in Psychological Science. "The researchers found that infants from high conflict homes showed greater reactivity to...
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Parental conflict linked to infant brain function was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

]]> http://lenski.com/blog/high-conflict-parents-may-influence-babies-brain-functioning/feed/ 0 Starting a difficult conversation http://lenski.com/blog/starting-a-difficult-conversation/ http://lenski.com/blog/starting-a-difficult-conversation/#comments Sun, 24 Mar 2013 13:08:20 +0000 Tammy Lenski http://lenski.com/?p=10341 difficult conversation Starting a difficult conversation (or negotiation or mediation) can feel like opening Fibber McGee's closet -- chaotic, overwhelming, and hope-sucking. But don't run. A colleague shared the closet metaphor with me years ago and I've passed it along to countless others since. The messy, over-filled hall closet was a running gag on the 1930s-1950s radio show. Chaos ensued whenever someone opened the closet door and the contents spilled out (click here to listen to the closet door being opened...go ahead, I'll wait). When you start a difficult conversation...
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Starting a difficult conversation was written by Tammy Lenski and originated at Lenski.com.

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