What is conflict zen®?

Conflict Zen® is a non-prescriptive, simplified approach to conflict and problem solving, designed and coined by me, professional mediator and conflict management consultant Dr. Tammy Lenski.

I wanted to juxtapose two ideas that initially don’t seem connected, but then inspire deeper consideration. And, from my years as a mediator, conflict resolution coach, trainer and professor, I’ve come to believe that what many people really want during conflict is the kind of centered, balanced and intentional reaction that Zen practices teach.

No. But it is inspired by the Zen ideas of simplicity, beginner’s mind, and staying present as paths to changing one’s reaction in conflict situations. I’m turned off by the prescriptive, “fix the other person” nature of too many conflict resolution approaches…a “dealing with difficult people” method may feel good to the ego but it’s not very effective in the long run. I’m drawn to Zen’s anti-prescriptive nature and the way key principles can transform a conflict.

Not at all. Few of my clients are Zen practitioners. It’s not about the practice of Zen, it’s about the borrowing of a few ideas that really resonate with people who want to get more courageous, get less aggressive, or otherwise change the way they react to conflict.

Conflict Zen® the method and Conflict Zen® the blog are for anyone who would like to learn better strategies for keeping their balance during conflict at work or home. If you avoid conflict because it’s uncomfortable or you worry confronting a problem will damage the personal, professional, or business relationship, it’s for you. If you find yourself frequently in difficult conversations because you’re drawn to conflict like a moth to flame, it’s for you. If you want to reduce the stress of conflict in your home or work life, it’s for you. And if you’re charged with helping others manage conflict better, it’s also for you.

The crane symbolizes peace in Japanese, Chinese and Korean traditions. The crane also symbolizes lasting relationships because it devotes itself to one partner for life and both cranes build the nest and care for their young.

In Japan, tradition holds that anyone with the commitment and patience to fold 1,000 paper cranes will be granted their most desired wish. In the 1950s the idea gained worldwide fame from the story of Sadako Sasaki, who was two when the atomic bomb exploded one mile from her home in Hiroshima. Sadako later developed leukemia from exposure to radiation and was inspired by the legend to fold 1,000 cranes and see her wish for world peace granted. When Sadako died at age 12, she was buried with 1,000 cranes and, to this day, folded white origami cranes are placed at memorials as symbols of peace. A statue of Sadako holding a golden crane now stands at the Hiroshima Peace Memorial, crafted with funds gathered by Sadako’s friends and classmates in memory of all the children who died because of the bomb. The plaque reads, This is our cry. This is our prayer. Peace in the world.

I chose the origami crane as my logo because I wanted to associate with its symbol of peace, long life, patience and commitment, as well create a connection to the Asian cultures from which Zen practice emanates.

I’ve had the good fortune to work with several excellent graphic designers over the years. My crane logo was created by David Airey of Edinburgh, Scotland. Kathryn Sikule of Brownstone Graphics in Albany, New York designed the cover of the first edition of my book, Making Mediation Your Day Job.