A conflict’s greatest opportunity for collaborative resolution is usually near the time it first occurred (if such a time can be known) or at least nearer the time it first entered your awareness.
Sometimes, the triggering event is clear and memorable. Sometimes it’s elusive, building under the radar over time, brick by brick, small frustration by small frustration.
Either way, the sooner you address it after the raw initial pain and anger have passed, the better. You want the rawness to have subsided enough that people can bring their better selves to the conversation, but not so much time to have passed that the ongoing tension creates an escalating conflict spiral.
The center of a conflict spiral is known as “schismogenesis,” a fancy word for “beginning of the rift.” The spiral grows outward the longer the conflict goes untended, widening the divide, increasing the emotional distance, and sometimes also increasing the number of people involved.
Conflict resolution specialists like me often get the call many months or even years after the schismogenesis. It’s reasonable and understandable that the individuals involved and management want a reasonable chance first to engage, untangle and resolve the conflict before seeking outside help.
The trick is to recognize a spiral early and develop hallmarks in your organizational conflict management system that will help you know when to keep working at it in-house and when it’s more resource-efficient and effective to seek outside help.
I’ve helped conflicts years in the making get untangled and those involved begin to rebuild the trust relationships they once had. But it’s harder by orders of magnitude when you wait a long time before getting the right help.
Hope just isn’t a good conflict resolution strategy.
Hi Tammy, Good advice….I love that word "schismogenesis". Hadn't heard of it before. The schism part brings the word 'chasm' to mind, and an ever-widening chasm at that. As a court-based mediator in BC, parties are allowed to bring their claim to court, up to 6 years after the triggering event / rift. Needless to say, the conflict spiral may have looped to the outer universe in that time!
It's a shame that disputes that go to court too frequently go that wide divide route, Ben. Attorneys have often specifically instructed their clients to cease communicating with each other and communicate only through counsel, as a way to protect the client's case. Understandable from a legal wrangling point of view, but a very unfortunate pathway for clients who want or need to stay in some kind of professional, b2b or personal relationship with each other.
Thanks for the shout-out, Liz. I appreciate both the nod from you and the good company!
This comment was originally posted on Successful Blog
Wow, that makes great sense to me!
Unfortunately, the conflict spiral in most PI cases I deal with has looped and looped and looped prior to bringing in the court-ordered mediator.
So sad and yet so common, Scott. That makes your work very tough!
Wonderful insight Tammy!
I love the idea of “schismogenesis” as a tool or identifier to uncover latent conflict. Thank you for your blog…am working at making this my full time job after your seminar in April of last year in Little Rock.
Kellie, thanks for coming by. I so enjoyed my time with you all in Little Rock–what a terrific group you are! I hope our paths cross in person again some time.