Last fall, my 13 graduate negotiation students, few of whom described themselves as good negotiators when class started, mostly shuddered at the prospect of one assignment in particular: Each week, they had to negotiate something. A matter at home. A better price on a purchase at the mall. A contract with a vendor at work. A problem with a colleague. We kept track of their negotiations outside of class in our online discussion forum, where they could post about the negotiation, celebrate, or … [Read more...]
My favorite tips for mediators
21 January 2012
Some, but not all, of my conflict resolution work is mediation, the act of helping others negotiate a solution to their conflict without having a stake in the outcome. I count among my other hats conflict management consulting, coaching, training and education. Mediation was my "first love" in the conflict resolution field 15 years ago and over the years I've written many posts and articles on the subject, not to mention my book, Making Mediation Your Day Job. It seems only right that I … [Read more...]
Conflict and blogging: 3 posts that unleashed onslaughts
18 January 2012
Ten years of blogging has been one of the most fun rides of my professional life and created opportunities to meet and work with fine folks from all over the world. But every now and then, I've stepped into a quagmire. For the next installment of my 10-year blogiversary celebration I'm going to share three posts that created a barrage of emails at the time they were written, and in one case, continue to prompt emails that generally start with something like, "Tsk tsk..." The Shamu Maneuver … [Read more...]
Favorite conflict resolution lessons and stories, part 2
15 January 2012
A mediation colleague and friend of mine, Lee Bryan, describes stories as the perfect way to create a "hook" in your brain – something on which you can hang an idea for easier retrieval later. Here are five more of my favorite stories from the past decade of the Conflict Zen blog, which I'm sharing as part of my 10-year blogiversary celebration. You can find the first five favorite conflict resolution lessons and stories here. There are prizes too and you get entered every time you … [Read more...]
Favorite conflict resolution lessons and stories, part 1
11 January 2012
We're in the midst of my 10-year blogiversary celebration, a retrospective of the Conflict Zen blog for the past decade. I'm sharing both personal favorites and crowd favorites, those posts that make me smile, are good representatives for how I think and work, and/or continue to generate a lot of email from readers. If you've been around the blog for any length of time, you know I particularly like to tell stories and believe that stories are terrific ways to learn and remember an idea. So it's … [Read more...]
A 10-year blogiversary celebration
5 January 2012
In a few weeks, the Conflict Zen blog will be 10 years old. I'm throwing a party to celebrate and I hope you'll join in. In February 2002, I'd been in business about five years and was looking for a better way to manage all the articles and newsletter content I was creating for prospective, current and past clients. I wanted to keep it online for easier use and access by clients and I wanted software that made it easy to manage. Blogging software fit the bill perfectly...and still does. The … [Read more...]
The body in the suitcase and the conflict stories we tell
19 December 2011
"Maybe he's got a body in there," mused my husband. I watched the man walking toward us, dragging something heavy behind him. Even from a long distance, it was easy to see he was burdened by the load. "Yep," said I, "maybe so." We were walking our dogs on one of the local rail trails and as the distance between us and the man lessened, we began to make up a story about him and the body inside what now appeared to be a large rolling suitcase. Perfect for body moving, we agreed, warming to … [Read more...]
I’ve cried a river: Rooster conflict teaches resolution lesson
13 December 2011
Cindy June of Milton, New York, had a problem on her hands: Her rooster, Farnsworth, was waking the neighbors. His crowing even exceeded the town noise ordinance's 55-decibel limit. The town building inspector, who took readings of Farnsworth's loud crows, said later, "This wasn't one occurrence. Many neighbors complained." The Milton Town Court ordered Farnsworth's vocal cords be removed, but bird specialists at Tufts and Cornell universities warned that such a procedure was too risky and … [Read more...]
7 stocking stuffer favorites for conflict resolvers
8 December 2011
It's time for my annual holiday roundup of stocking stuffer favorites for conflict resolvers -- seven simple gifts to give or receive. Some are serious, some are humorous, none will break the bank, and all will fit in a stocking. With a little effort. Wag More Bark Less Bumper Sticker My car used to be the only one in town sporting this bumper sticker but now I see them more frequently. Drivers and I point and wave to each other, happy to be part of a not-so-secret society of good cheer. Plus, … [Read more...]
Negotiating for a new car? Maybe leaning left will help
7 December 2011
If you're negotiating for a new car, some recent research would suggest that you might find it helpful to lean left -- literally. The research is part of a body of inquiry in the field of embodied cognition. Embodied cognition holds that the condition of the mind is influenced by the form and position of the human body. Researchers of embodied cognition include psychologists and cognitive scientists, among others. In a recent study at the University of Rotterdam, researchers were interested in … [Read more...]
