Thinking about the future helps couples overcome relationship conflicts and view the situation in a more reasoned and positive light, according to new research. Here’s how to use the researchers’ simple mental exercise to create psychological distance from a conflict and dial down the heat of an argument.
The conflict zen blog
During conflict, focusing mostly on anger’s behavior instead of on anger’s real message is like burying the lede in a news story.
You don’t get better at listening during conflict by practicing it during conflict. You get better at listening during conflict by practicing it first outside of conflict. Here are 3 ways to practice being a better listener in everyday life.
Strengthening your conflict resolution chops isn’t about learning a new skill and then trying to use it in your most difficult conversations. Just as you wouldn’t start running and try a marathon the following week, acquiring more successful conflict resolution habits is about a slow, steady build. Start with 30-second chunks.
Stories help us retain ideas and try new ones on for size. We use stories to understand and make meaning, constructing our world with their help. And stories are a powerful way to remember conflict resolution lessons and ideas.
“That’s not my problem” are four of the most frustrating words to hear when you’re trying to talk through a conflict. They’re dismissive and may leave you feeling powerless to resolve the problem. Here are three tried-and-true ways to get problem-solving moving forward again.
Bickering, an argument about trivial matters, is one of those everyday bad habits that feeds the growth of destructive conflict in a relationship. When you teach yourself how to stop getting sucked into bickering, you give yourself and your relationship some fresh air. Here’s a short phrase that can help.
When you’re stuck on a problem or feeling angry, briefly distancing yourself psychologically from the current circumstances can give you emotional relief and actually help you solve the problem. Here are four simple and potent ways to gain psychological distance (and help others do the same) when you’re spinning your wheels in a conflict conversation.
One of my summer projects has been sorting past articles by conflict resolution skill, since I get so many questions about specific skills. I’ve just completed the next two on the list: Starting a difficult conversation and confronting.
Confronting is an essential negotiation, conflict resolution, and problem-solving skill. Being confrontational, though, will usually do you more harm then help. Here’s one of my favorite ways to confront someone and raise an issue for discussion without being aggressive or argumentative.