“That’s not my problem” are four of the most frustrating words to hear when you’re trying to talk through a conflict. They’re dismissive and may leave you feeling powerless to resolve the problem. Here are three tried-and-true ways to get problem-solving moving forward again.
The conflict zen blog
Bickering, an argument about trivial matters, is one of those everyday bad habits that feeds the growth of destructive conflict in a relationship. When you teach yourself how to stop getting sucked into bickering, you give yourself and your relationship some fresh air. Here’s a short phrase that can help.
When you’re stuck on a problem or feeling angry, briefly distancing yourself psychologically from the current circumstances can give you emotional relief and actually help you solve the problem. Here are four simple and potent ways to gain psychological distance (and help others do the same) when you’re spinning your wheels in a conflict conversation.
One of my summer projects has been sorting past articles by conflict resolution skill, since I get so many questions about specific skills. I’ve just completed the next two on the list: Starting a difficult conversation and confronting.
Confronting is an essential negotiation, conflict resolution, and problem-solving skill. Being confrontational, though, will usually do you more harm then help. Here’s one of my favorite ways to confront someone and raise an issue for discussion without being aggressive or argumentative.
Resolving conflict and other complex problems demands that we push beyond the familiar options and explore new territory. But leaving the familiar behind is uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant. Even so, staying in the “groan zone” and doing the important work there leads to better results.
One of my summer 2016 projects is sorting past articles by conflict resolution skill. I’ve just completed the next on the list: Dealing with difficult behaviors. With a single click you can now find my past articles focused on dealing with difficult behaviors during conflict, including posts like these: Want to influence behavior? Stop telling […]
For decades, non-verbal communication has been lauded as an important part of establishing connection and understanding with others. Now a new study suggests non-verbals aren’t as key as we think.
When I wanted to curb my habit of interrupting my husband, I turned to an old rubber band trick for practicing the replacement behavior enough to make it stick. Here are the simple instructions and some uses.
How to deal with difficult people? It’s one of the most frequent questions I’m asked in my workshops, by subscribers, friends, and my grad students. Here’s my strategy for dealing with difficult people and why it so consistently works.