Our narratives reflect who we are


Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, a single whale calls out again and again and again. Whale 52, as he’s known, has never been seen by humans. But he has been heard. For years. His call has been recorded and it’s in a frequency that matches no other whale species.

Maybe that’s why no other whale seems to have answered him and why 52 continues to swim and call, swim and call. The media has dubbed him The Loneliest Whale in the World.

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Hold the date: Conflict coaching workshop

High Reach Farm workshop

If you’re an organizational leader, manager, business owner, or HR professional, this conflict coaching workshop announcement is for you.

Breaking the Conflict Cycle:
The Leader and Manager as Conflict Coach

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Do you have a dollar for four quarters?

quarters only

“Excuse me,” said the gentleman. “Do you have a dollar for four quarters?”

Bestselling author, entrepreneur, and thinker Seth Godin, had just parked his car on Manhattan’s Upper West Side when he was approached by a panhandler.

The question caught Godin’s attention because it’s not the question he expected from the panhandler. And Godin actually did need quarters for the parking meter. So he and the stranger completed the transaction.

Then the gentleman asked…

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The 15-minute self-mediation exercise

15 minutes

Very few disagreements require a mediator. But many would benefit from a discussion framework that keeps bickering at bay and helps you bring your best thinking to the conversation. When there’s no mediator in your office or living room with you, here’s what to do.

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What do I stand for in your mind?


Every single one of you who reads my blog or newsletter matters to me. I’m here because you’re here, after all.

If you’ve been a reader for a while, you know that I periodically ask you to help me see myself through your eyes. This is one of those times.

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Conflict resolution and the ancient art of kintsugi

conflict resolution as kintsugi

What if, instead of viewing conflict as something that leaves permanent cracks and breaks in our relationships, we viewed those fault lines as testament to what the relationship has weathered? What if, instead of trying to ignore or hide the damage, we revered it, understanding that “as good as new” is a misguided goal?

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Willpower and managing emotions during conflict


“Whatever you do, just don’t let me stop running,” I said to my husband as I laced up my running shoes and headed out the door. “I’ll see you at about 9:45. Remember — don’t let me stop!”

It was 1998 and I was training for my first marathon. I’d completed half marathons successfully. I’d been training faithfully, running every day, with a long run after work on Wednesdays and a longer run every weekend. It was early on a Saturday morning and I was about to run 20 miles. That was three miles longer than I’d ever run in my life.

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7 business books every ADR professional should own

When mediators, coaches, and other ADR professionals ask me to recommend business books, there are a few that are always on my list. They’re books that shaped my thinking and my business for the better. They’re books I still go back and reference or re-read every once in a while. I consider them “quake books” […]