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Teleseminar for mediators: Beyond technique

On Thursday the Association for Conflict Resolution is sponsoring a teleseminar led by Susanne Terry and me. We'll be discussing how to master our craft through better use of "self as instrument." Here's a description of the teleseminar: Beyond technique: Exploring our inner landscape and using self as instrument There's a saying in the training of therapists: "Technique is what you use until the therapist arrives." Just as good therapy cannot be reduced to technique, the best conflict … [Read more...]

Freedom and peace of mind after conflict

I'm disillusioned with terms like “conflict management” and “conflict resolution,” though I continue to use them. I use them because I haven’t yet found an optimal replacement. When I’m in conflict, I’m not particularly interested in managing it. From the midst of turbulence, “management” of conflict feels almost ridiculous, like trying to contain a cat that’s just fallen in a full bathtub. I sometimes want to resolve it, but “resolution” has a sense about it, like … [Read more...]

The academy of advanced practitioners

I'm delighted to announce that I've become the very first conflict resolution professional accepted into the Association for Conflict Resolution's new Academy of Advanced Practitioners. The Academy is a new designation recognizing conflict resolution practitioners who have an advanced level of preparation and experience. I applied for and have been accepted in three specialized practice areas that represent the core of my work for the last 15+ years: Organizational conflict resolution, a … [Read more...]

Seeing the equal human in front of you

People who act badly in conflict are not broken. In a culture where problem-solving and fixing are highly valued, I fear that we too often take aim at our fellow humans with the same orientation as we do a broken bicycle or an ineffective policy. We roll up our figurative sleeves and get to work on fixing whatever we think ails them. When someone is acting badly in conflict, there are so many more compassionate ways to respond. It turns out that they're also far more effective, too. In such … [Read more...]

Four conflict resolution workshops and tips in businessweek

Four quick announcements about upcoming conflict resolution workshops and an article in Businessweek: Calming the storm in Vermont If you were turned away from my February 12 workshop, Calming the Storm: De-Escalating High-Heat Encounters because it had sold out, here's some good news: Marlboro Grad School has moved the workshop to a larger space so we can accommodate more participants. The above link takes you to a description and registration link. Beyond technique On February 28 … [Read more...]

The problem with should

We had just arrived in San Francisco and were driving toward the Golden Gate Bridge, heading along the coast and then to the beach for a stroll on that gorgeous, warm January day. It came up that I had never seen the city of San Francisco. One of my friends said, "Oh! We have to detour and take you in to see the city!" It was a lovely gesture, to detour on my behalf. "That's ok," I replied, "I'm happy to skip the city and go on to Stinson Beach for a walk." My other friend said, "You … [Read more...]

Is it time to find a new filter for your conflict?

You can't change an ongoing state of conflict by viewing it repeatedly from the same perspective. You've got to find a new filter or two. Years ago, I bought a pair of sports sunglasses with swappable lenses for differing conditions. I didn’t take the time to experiment with the different lenses and settled into wearing the dark gray lenses all the time. They did the job well enough. Until I discovered they didn't. One day while cleaning out a drawer I came across the other lenses and … [Read more...]

Musings on the mediator’s job

I've been working my way through research notes for my upcoming book and today came across these excerpts on the mediator's job from Winslade and Monk's 2000 classic, Narrative Mediation. If you're a mediator and you haven't read it, you ought to. They have several worthy sequels, too. "If mediation is about creating new meanings in a dispute where existing meanings have become stale or stuck, then deconstructive listening and deconstructive questioning are useful tools in this creative … [Read more...]

What webinar topics interest you?

I'm organizing webinars I'll offer in the coming months and would so appreciate a quick bit of feedback from you. Would you give me 1 minute to tell me what webinar topics interest you? … [Read more...]

Conflict resolution workshops in California and Vermont

I'll be teaching two conflict resolution workshops in the next few weeks. I post all upcoming speaking engagements on my conflict resolution workshops and events page and will be adding a number of new February and March events soon. I'd so appreciate you passing this announcement to others and posting it in your favorite social media hangouts. Here's what's coming up next: The naked mediator: Our strengths, our frailties, and what they reveal about us February 2, Petaluma, CA – … [Read more...]