Congratulations to the prize drawing winners

balloons

A big congratulations to the four winners in my book launch prize drawing and a big thanks to all of you who bought my book and sent in your receipt to enter the drawing. I'm so grateful each and every one of you bought The Conflict Pivot. The Grand Prize went to Cecilia Lenagh. She won access to an upcoming 4-session group conflict coaching program + 1-hour private session with me. 1st prize went to Peter Clark. He won a 1-hour private telephone (or skype) coaching session with me. 2nd … [Read more...]

“Can” vs “how can” we resolve this?

butterfly

What a difference a single word makes. When we're in conflict, our own egos and the level of hope (or hopelessness) we feel can become obstacles to finding resolution. Sometimes, a simple reframing of a key question can help us overcome these obstacles. I was reminded of this while listening to a public radio interview of Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer, who pointed out that "can" and "how can" are vastly different from one another. She said, "When you ask yourself how do you do … [Read more...]

The secret to dealing with haters online (and off)

peace of mind

The time-tested strategy for dealing with haters online is both right on the money and a battle of epic willpower proportions to carry off: PDFTT. Please Don't Feed the Trolls. Don't respond to them. Walk away from your keyboard. Put your phone in your pocket. Don't take the bait. The trouble with this advice is that your hands are already shaking with anger by the time you're trying to control the urge to put the troll in his place. You're already emotionally hijacked by what he wrote by the … [Read more...]

A quick favor, please?

I'm writing to request your help in spreading the word about my newest book, The Conflict Pivot. I've made it super easy to do and there's something for you in return: The chance to win one of five prizes in addition to the main prize drawing. Just take any (or all!) of the actions below and you'll be entered. The more actions you take, the more drawing entries you get. There's one action you can even take daily to accrue more entries and increase your chances of winning. Just click on an … [Read more...]

Kindle edition of the conflict pivot

My newest conflict resolution book, The Conflict Pivot, is now available for the Kindle! Here are the formats and sources presently available and the anticipated publication dates of others in the pipeline. Don't forget to send in your receipt to enter The Conflict Pivot launch prize drawing! United States: Amazon.com kindle edition United States: Amazon.com print edition United States: Barnes & Noble print edition Canada: Amazon.ca kindle edition Europe: Amazon Europe print and … [Read more...]

Our past but not our future

Our Past But Not Our Future by Robert Fogarty

Roseann Sdoia is a survivor of the Boston Marathon bombing. That's her, in the center of the above photo, surrounded by supporters. What you can see in the photo is her powerful message for us. What you can't see is her prosthetic leg. When you realize she lost her leg in the bombing, her message resonates with greater credibility, greater clarity, and even greater power. Our past but not our future. We can choose. My gratitude to photographer Robert X. Fogarty and his Dear World: … [Read more...]

The truth is a rabbit in a bramble patch

briars

"The truth is a rabbit in a bramble patch. And you can’t lay your hand on it. All you do is circle around and point, and say, ‘It’s in there somewhere.’” I love this comment from Pete Seeger, relaying a simile his father often used. Because for all the times I've said that arguing about the truth during conflict is a waste of time, for all the times I've mentioned that your perspective and the truth are not the same, and for all the times I've written about the ways we create our own truths … [Read more...]

A conflict pivot prize drawing for you

I want my new book, The Conflict Pivot: Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind, to reach a lot of people and make a difference in a lot of lives. Ten years of working on a book will do that to a person. So, it means a lot to me when you buy a copy of the book -- or several copies for your friends, family, colleagues, or clients. It means so much to me that I've lined up a whole series of thank you gifts from me to you and I'm going to give them away to four lucky winners on July 11. The … [Read more...]

The conflict pivot is here

This blog post has been ten years in the making. That's how long I've been developing and fine-tuning conflict pivots, then working on the book. I'm here to tell you The Conflict Pivot went live on Amazon yesterday. My virtual book tour begins today, complete with gifts and prizes...read on for details. Editions The print edition of The Conflict Pivot is now available on Amazon and Amazon Europe. The Kindle version will be available at the end of June. Print editions will be available … [Read more...]

The conflict pivot: Official book trailer

The Conflict Pivot will be out soon. So the time seemed right to share the official book trailer, which has been in the works for a few of months. I hope you'll take a look and share it far and wide. I'm so very grateful to the smart, talented folks at Goodlookin' (you may have seen their work for Microsoft, Nordstrom and the flickr app) for creating the trailer. And a big thanks and hug to my nephew, director Matt Lenski (can't resist mentioning his 2005 MTV Video Music Award, his Sears … [Read more...]

A conflict coaching teleseminar

On Thursday I'll be teaching a conflict coaching teleseminar for the Association for Conflict Resolution. Here is what's on tap: What: Coaching the Conflict Pivot: Three Steps to Help Free Clients from Conflict When: Thursday, June 5, 1-2pm EDT For whom: The Workplace Section members and my invited guests (that's you!) Continuing education credits? Yes, for ACR Advanced Practitioners How to attend: I've gotten permission for you to be my invited guest Description: A pivot is a change … [Read more...]

This little light of mine

Vincent Harding on SoundCloud

When someone does something that upsets you, do you get sidetracked and allow their actions or words to be the focal point of your response? Or do you stay your course, focused on the longer view of what you're committed to? Civil rights veteran Vincent Harding, who passed away last week, had some thoughts about this very question, and he shared them on the public radio show, On Being. His words are transcendent and are just as applicable to everyday conflict resolution as they are to civil … [Read more...]

When you inadvertently magnify a conflict

resolve conflict

Conflict doesn't necessarily mean something fundamental has shifted in your business or personal relationship. It's possible the relationship is as sound and strong as it ever was. It's just hard to see that when the conflict is crowding out your wider view. I was reminded of this recently in an experience with a certain company whose services I use to manage a small digital aspect of my conflict resolution business. I've been using the company for years and have felt consistently well … [Read more...]

Sneak peak: My new book’s introduction

conflict pivot

Jen, a mediation graduate student in my Interpersonal Conflict course, pointed to an excellent conflict resolution book we’d just read and said, “I love this book. And I hate it, too. It’s got so much to teach me, but I won’t remember it all. I just can’t keep track of that much advice.” She’d just summarized my own experience with favorite conflict resolution books and a protest I’d heard before: the sense that the best conflict resolution books help us understand our conflicts in fresh … [Read more...]

Sneak peak at the book cover

Hundreds of you gave your input on the first round of book cover designs for my forthcoming book, The Conflict Pivot. I thought I'd thank you by sharing a sneak peak at the final cover. The book should be out in June (fingers crossed); once I have the release date I'll post it far and wide. … [Read more...]