Most of us who’ve included conflict management coaching in our mix of services for many years didn’t have the good fortune new conflict management coaches now have: A terrific book on the subject.
My story is typical: I started as a mediator, consultant, and conflict resolution educator. Where I first taught conflict resolution at the grad level we used a coaching approach to help new mediators master their craft. When I prepared my clients for mediations during intake, I naturally included coaching of all parties in bringing their best selves to the table. When I mediated, I sometimes hybridized my mediations by doing mini-coaching sessions with all the parties before, during, or after the mediation. Somewhere along the line about a decade ago, clients started requesting one-on-one coaching as a discrete service.
It sounds so obvious and simple now, but what’s invisible is the volume of hours I put into developing my coaching approach and figuring out how and when to mesh effective coaching with effective conflict resolution. I wish I’d had a Cinnie Noble back then. But you don’t have to wish…you do.
Cinnie Noble is widely – and deservedly – recognized as a pioneer in conflict management coaching. Cinnie took little-known segments of the coaching and conflict resolution fields and developed them into an integrated whole long before most of our colleagues even noticed the need. Cinnie’s an innovative thinker, a generous soul, and a very smart businesswoman.
And now, Cinnie’s organized her wealth of coaching knowledge and experience into a coherent, relevant, and highly informative book, Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model
From an explanation of conflict coaching, to a clear discernment of coaching from counseling and mentoring, to a framework for approaching this type of coaching, to sample forms and contracts, Cinnie’s book spans the theoretical and the practical. I think it’s going to become the new bible for conflict management coaches and those who want to be.
Cinnie was kind enough to send me two copies of her book – one a review copy and one to give away if I liked the book. I like! Here’s how to enter my random drawing:
- Post a comment on this article and say why you want the book. Be sure to include your real email address (it won’t be visible to others) so I can contact you if you’re the winner. If you’re reading this post in your email, you’ll need to click on the article title to be taken to the blog page with the comment form at the bottom.
- Alternatively, tweet your reason for wanting the book. Be sure to include both @tammylenski and the URL for this post so I’ll know you’ve done it.
- I’ll randomly pick a winner in three days and notify you by email or twitter.
And if you don’t win, don’t let that stop you from getting Cinnie’s book. Isn’t it about time to give your loved ones your holiday reading wish list?
I am an executive coach who also works with senior teams to have the conversations that are most needed (and often avoided) for change to happen. I happen to love working with groups in conflict and have had good success with them using Kegan and Lahey's Immunity to Change method as well as other, sometimes intuitive approaches. I love the thought that someone has written a book specifically about this topic and that there are other approaches and frameworks that I could learn about and potentially use with my clients. Right subject, right time! Can't wait to learn more.
I am involved in conflict management and work as a minister attempting to train ministers in over twenty geographical regions around the globe. I have been involved in some of the most fierce conflicts in non-profit entities, geographical church coalitions and larger churches with as many as 6,000 members. And I am developing a ubiquitous course that will be translated to seven or more languages, and adapted for non-western settings, so that would-be peacemakers will be able to communicate in unfamiliar settings. I need help with training conflict managers is settings where I might not be able to visit for many months. I will be using video technologies to deliver the best practices and approaches at conflict management.
New to the profession of mediation. I was just whining this morning how the people in my life only call me when they have a problem! LOL funny…when I read your post I thought – WOW! the reason they call me is because I am providing them (free) conflict coaching. Now, I have no direct experience with conflict coaching and I really haven't read much about it, but when I read this this morning I knew that I really want to read more. I would truly appreciate it if I were selected to be the recipient of your free copy, but I really think that even if I am not, I will have to buy a copy. Thanks for posting!!!
Kim, you won the random drawing! I'll contact you by email to get your mailing address. Congratulations and enjoy the book!
I would love to receive a copy of this book, for both professional and personal reasons. Professionally, my work involves managing cross-company mentoring programs – so there are many avenues in which I can pass on the valuable knowledge & experiences included in Cinnie Noble's book. Because, as it is with so many things, communication is the cornerstone of mentoring relationships. And with communication inevitably comes the need to navigate conflict.
As for my personal interest in reading this great resource; I guess the short explanation is that I have a ridiculously geeky appetite for new ideas.
Thank you for posting this, as well as all of your postings. I find myself forwarding them on so often!
I would like to have a copy of Cinnie's new book because I am doing conflict coaching as a part of some of my mediations and have also started coaching individual clients on how best to manage their conflict. I was in a short workshop with Cinnie at a recent ACR conference and was very impressed by her approach to coaching. I think her book would further my understanding of this topic and help me to be a better practitioner.
I am familiar with Cinnie Nobel's work, as the pre-eminent name in conflict coaching, and I'd love to own this book. It strikes me that coaching is a self- directed reflection activity, as well as an other-directed activity. I can see using this book on myself, much as I did your book, Tammy. I can also see it being useful in my work with principals and superintendents, whom my interviews showed are "trying to maintain their own balance while helping people around them to move through changes." I've had great success lately, using book study as a foundation for professional development in schools. I've recently researched parent-school conflict and created some materials to draw from for workshops/ newsletters/ talks/ etc. I'd love to inform that work with Cinnie's expertise about conflict coaching. If I don't win this book, I will surely buy it!
I just came back from a highly charged mediation. The clients were throwing insults back and forth, digging deep into the past. I am just beginning to incorporate coaching as a beginning step in mediation. I would like to learn more about the Cinergy model and how coaching can be most effective paired with mediation or standing on its own. I am sure Cinnie Noble's book will be a tremendous resource for me.
Thanks for the offer Tammy. Cinnie is the pioneer in conflict coaching. I was very excited to see that she wrote a book on the subject. Can't wait to dive in. I added conflict coaching to my mediation practice earlier this year and have considered her training for some time. I am very interested in the topic and would love to learn more. Again, thanks for the opportunity.
The timing of this week's Conflict Zen is perfect for me. I am putting attention on broadening my skills in coaching of Basic Mediation courses with TMTC in Greenfield Mass. I have done some coaching as a student in the Woodbury program, and think that continuing to build my coaching skills will have the additional benefir of making me a stronger mediator and be able to apply my skills more confidently to a wider range of conflicts. I would like this book as a cornerstone of my reference materials to improve my coaching. Thank you for making this opportunity available.
Since the beginning of my education in Conflict Management I have perceived the profession of the mediator/facilitator to be a calling for those who would help bring peace between parties who could not yet acknowledge their inherent ability as human beings to share in the equitable and just resolution of conflict. I consider it a privilege to be equipped with the tools to help individuals and groups discover this powerful ability in their hearts and minds. For me, this gift transcends the profession and extends to one's ability to be a resource for friends, neighbors, children, parents and grandparents, co-workers or anyone within a peacemaker or coach's sphere of influence for healing and transformation. This book presents an opportunity for each of us to expand our territory. I would greatly appreciate learning from this book and increasing my reach as a professional, and as a resource to others in my community. I am very proud of the skills I have acquired, and I look forward to taking my ability to the next level as a coach who will empower others with instruction from this exciting book.
As a newer manager I need all the help I can get when it comes to conflict management. My philosophy is to discuss with both parties the concern, problem or just conflict as soon as it happens and then make my decision after sorting out the facts from the fiction. Conflict coaching sounds like a hard thing to do but with the help of this article I now have insight into how not to offend each side and resolve issues in a non-threatening manner. Thank again.
I would love a copy of this book because 1) I have never heard of Cinnie Nobel and I am intrigued; 2) Anything you recommend is invited to my bookshelf; and 3) I love the thrill of chance but do not want to spend money on lottery tickets!
Seriously… as a practitioner I would love to read a book so highly recommended. Learning makes me happy.
Peace,
Deborah Denson
Hi Tammy–thanks to you and Cinnie for this generous offer! I was unable to attend Cinnie's training in the US this fall and am thrilled to hear she's written this new book–I'd be grateful to have one of these copies. As a workplace mediator in higher education, I find that faculty are often reluctant to mediate due to the high level of distrust in administration, even though it's an independent and voluntary process. Because of this reluctance, we are often asked for informal coaching to assist with what can be really ugly, dysfunctional conflicts that go on for years and years. To date, I've been adapting my mediation skills but find it hard to offer a lot in the way of suggestions because it is so contrary to my training as a transformative mediator. I'm hopeful that Cinnie's model will help make transitioning from mediator to coach easier for me.
Best,
Patricia
I would like a copy of the book because it would help me help parents of children with disabiities, and educators, as I work with them in meetings and resolution sessions pertaining to the IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). I started my mediation and conflict resolution training years ago by completing the Tennessee Rule 31 mediator training that persons must have to mediate divorce in Tennessee and quickly realized that it would be invaluable in the emotionally charged realm of special education. I continue learning and honing my skills by reading and attending additional mediation trainings. This book, and the concept of conflict management coaching sounds like it will add a new dimension to my skill set and enable me to help persons involved in special education conflicts more efectively than I am able to do now.
WOW…what a wonderful book review Tammy and what a thrill it is to read these great comments! My head and my heart are swelling!
Thank you so much – to all of you – and to Tammy also, for running such an interesting contest. If you were giving a copy of my book based on the most compelling reason, I'd say it would be a tough call
I'll look forward to reading who is randomly chosen.
Warm regards,
Cinnie
I've been loving folks' responses, too, Cinnie — lots of interesting information in them! I'll be doing the random drawing tomorrow.
Not sure I am a perfect candidate for the drawing but would love to read this book. I am a products and marketing professional and in many circumstances have had to deal with team and individual conflict issues. In some major cases it did not handle go very well. I consider this an area of much needed improvement so the book is on my list of reads. I was listening to a podcast the other day about dealing with confrontation and a good majority are not very good at dealing with it. I think one of the big things is facing our own fears. So dealing with with conflict, confrontation and our fears is a must in order for us to be truly happy. Does that make sense? Thanks Tammy for the review and bringing to light this new book!
Thanks to everyone who entered the drawing. I did the drawing this morning and Kim is the winner. I hope to do more drawings like this, so stay tuned!
Congratulations Kim! I hope you enjoy the book and thanks again to everyone for your comments and to Tammy for all the wonderful work you do.