simply better ways to negotiate and resolve conflict

Behavior change and the holes in your sidewalk

Autobiography in Five Chapters
by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Source: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche
Tammy
Conflict Zen® by Tammy Lenski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at ConfictZen.Lenski.com.

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Links from other posts and sites...

  1. [...] marriage, the ones that look all innocent and tiny and unimportant. They’re the ones that dig a hole, tiny spade full by spade [...]

  2. [...] the pothole metaphor so much I’ve used it in other posts. If you missed them, here they are: Behavior Change and the Holes in Your Sidewalk and Negotiation Potholes of the [...]

  3. [...] the pothole metaphor so much I’ve used it in other posts. If you missed them, here they are: Behavior Change and the Holes in Your Sidewalk and Negotiation Potholes of the Mind. About the author: Tammy Lenski has been helping individuals [...]

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