Back in 2006 I wrote about a Thanksgiving dinner that went terribly wrong…and the joy that erupted nevertheless:
Thirty minutes before our traditional 3:00 mealtime, things began to unravel. With surprising speed.
The first hints something was wrong were the thin swirls of smoke rising from two different stove burners. It seems my brother had burned the green beans and some other vegetable dish. My mother was fairly calm about it. After all, we had plenty of other food.
Not for long. A few minutes later, my father dropped the turkey roasting pan as he pulled it from the oven. He leaped one way and sizzling pan and turkey leaped the other. The turkey bounced from the pan and rolled over on its back, as though begging once again for its little life.
At that very moment I turned from the counter, a hot apple pie in my two oven-mitted hands.
I hope you’ll head over to read the entire story at The Most Disastrous Thanksgiving Ever. And a joyful Thanksgiving to you all!
Dear Dr.Tammy Lenski,
I am psychologically repulsed by the 'Dr.' title that so many people feel must precede their names in order to become credible. That action of legitimizing oneself via a title works the opposite on me. I thought I would share that with you because until I noticed that in the 'About' section, I felt more like an equal. Call it my personal 'ego' problem if you like, but I thought you might benefit from knowing about interpretations like this. Thank you for your helpful emails.
Peace. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
Well, Dave, I have to say this is one of the strangest Thanksgiving well wishes I've ever received!
One of the things I teach in my conflict resolution work (at universities, where the doctorate is valued as a signal of commitment to advanced education and dedication to one's discipline) is the importance of separating one's own stuff — over which we have dominion — and someone else's stuff — over which we have little control. So I'm putting my money where my mouth is here by recognizing your "repulsion" as something I cannot control nor should try.
What I can do is consider your feedback, however poorly delivered, and decide whether or not to accept it or reject is as relevant to me and my work. I've decided to reject it because I am little troubled by using the title I studied and worked very hard to earn and which many of my readers and clients do find relevant to their understanding of my expertise. The title alone doesn't give credibility but, together with experience, other credentials, and my body of work, hopefully does.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts — I treasure every reader, even when they disagree with me — because it's in the conversation that stronger relationships are made. I hope you'll be back and continue to read, but if you decide that me using Dr. in front of my name on a couple of pages of my site is reason to stop, then my best to you, my friend.
Dr. Lenski,
I apologize for my poorly delivered message. I suppose I mistakenly looked for your advice on defusing my own issue (stuff) – my job; my problem; my fault; my inner conflict. I appreciate your attempt, however weak and self-centered it might have been, to deal (or not deal) with it. Your desire to avoid this particular conflict – since it appears to be an 'ad hominem' attack from someone you don't know – makes sense. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or your pride. That was not my intention. My expectations were high and perhaps, after all, I am just jealous. Let us just forget the whole thing. It appears to be a sensitive issue to both of us.
Sorry, Doc.
Peace.
Dave
Just call me Tammy, Dave, everyone else does. I use Dr. Lenski in formal settings where I'm introduced as a speaker and in my bio. Everywhere else, I'm Tammy.
Good morning Tammy,
I hadn't intended this conversation – necessarily – to be public. If you are so inclined, feel free to delete the interchange.
Thanks.
Dave
Dave, I've left our comment thread but removed your last name from your comments. I think it's good for readers to see that there are multiple perspectives out there.
Hey, Stuart, lovely to hear from you — hope all is well! I'm delighted to hear my story created some laughter, the very best medicine. Warm wishes for a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Well, lovely to hear back from you, Tammy, and thank you for your warm wishes. Yes, your humor amidst the turmoil landed just right I am good, thanks, close to getting my book out there with you nicely featured. I send you all the best…
Stuart
Hi Tammy,
Thanks for your hilariously outrageous story. I passed it on to a friend who is going through some pre-Thanksgiving angst with sudden serious illness of her brother in law. Your story made her laugh. Her sister's oven suddenly stopped working, along with her brother in law's illness. Ahh, perspective.
Have a fine holiday.
Stuart Baker