It’s time to start taking conflict personally.
Conflict is personal. There. I’ve said it. Someone needed to, after all.
For years, you’ve been told not to take conflict personally. You’ve been told to focus on the rational, let the other “stuff” roll off your back. Maybe you’ve even been taught how to do an end run around the “messy” emotional parts of conflict so you can get down to the “real” issues.
They were wrong. Instinctually, I bet you suspected that all along.
Conflict is personal. It breaks your heart. It gnaws at your gut. It sits on your pillow at 2:00 a.m., joins you on your morning run, and lurks in the conference room corner.
Conflict is trying to tell you something. And it’s a first class nag. It won’t let go until you understand and act on its message.
I’m Tammy Lenski and for two decades I’ve been bringing destructive and chronic conflict to its knees by teaching people how to hear and act on what a conflict is really trying to tell them. Since founding my conflict resolution firm in 1997, I’ve worked with thousands worldwide as a mediator, coach, speaker, educator, and author.
In 2012 the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) presented me with the Mary Parker Follett Award for innovative and pioneering work in the conflict resolution field. In 2013 I was appointed to ACR’s Academy of Advanced Practitioners. And in 2015 I received the Pioneer Award from the New England Association for Conflict Resolution for significant contributions to the conflict resolution field.
I began my career in higher education, serving as a dean and vice president, then later as co-founder of the world’s first master’s degree in mediation, now housed at Champlain College. I’ve written two Amazon alternative dispute resolution bestsellers: The Conflict Pivot and Making Mediation Your Day Job.